Ginger spice and the self confidence tightrope 

Last month I wrote about the merging of sales and marketing over the past 30 years, and being a friend to your audience.

July, it seems, was a month for activism, with Surfers Against Sewage protests across the country and the Clean Creatives oil challenge.

Treading the line between friendship and firmly held values is its own kind of tightrope. And I felt another kind of tightrope this month, closer to home. 

Because July was also the maiden voyage for our new trade stand, and it brought up more than I expected.

If you haven’t seen it already, you can read all about how I conceived, slogged, panicked and persisted in building a sustainable stand here.

The result? Success, I think (I choose that word carefully – see below).

Firstly, I thought I’d just frame the raw emotion for clarity, as it may be something that resonates.

After it was built, and just before the show, I panicked – in a way I haven’t really done as an adult.

It was a very specific feeling that took me back to being a teen. *shuffles uncomfortably* Oh, this is so cringeworthy…

P, A, R, T…Why?

I was invited to a party. I say party – it was a disco. I was perhaps 12, somewhere past primary but pre-puberty.

I needed to stand out, be counted among my peers as the unique and original character I was.

Bright clothing might have done it. Bright hair definitely would.

In the absence of time, money or parental guidance, I decided paint was as good as hair dye. What could go wrong?

For those that know me, I’m quite sporty, but I’ve always been a bit of a sweaty beast – you can see where this is headed.

It was a hot disco, and sure, I had a dance. Think “The Routine” from Friends – only without the choreography, sibling backup, or dignity.

And ultimately, (after being pronounced Ginger Spice by the DJ), I left with orange poster paint running down my face.

Eugh, if you wanna be my lover, you’d better bring a towel.

Shouting the loudest

That feeling that came flooding back was because I was stepping out of the expected behaviour, showing off and trying to catch attention – something we learn to shy away from as respectable adults. 

And the doubt that maybe I would end up embarrassing myself or the team. 

Trade shows are full of noise about standing out – biggest stand, flashiest giveaways, most polished stories. 

And it’s not just trade shows, business in general rewards the loudest signals of success.

Boldest stand, biggest awards, best client logos, and polished success stories.

It’s easy to get caught up in the performance of puffing your chest out or trying to appear bigger or more certain than you really are.

But often, that’s not confidence. It’s a mask for insecurity.

What’s less talked about is the opposite move, shrinking back.

Choosing weakness, even unconsciously, because it gives you a different kind of power.

If people expect less from you, you don’t have to risk letting them down.

You achieve the same “special” status, and become “important” in a softer way – like a baby: cared for, protected, not expected to do much.

That might feel safer than stepping up, but it keeps you stuck just the same.

We know a lot of brilliant people and purpose-led organisations who wrestle with this. Not because they lack substance, but because promoting their work can feel uncomfortable.

There’s a quiet anxiety about being seen to show off, or worse, being accused of greenwashing. So they hold back.

Gently, steadily treading the line

In the book the courage to be disliked, this is discussed as the tightrope of the superiority and inferiority complex.

Adler suggests, there’s something healthier in walking shoulder to shoulder. 

No showboating, no hiding. 

Just a steady commitment to showing up as you are and moving forward with others as comrades. 

That’s where the real work happens. And the real growth.

So how did the show go?

I was anxious beforehand, not sure how we’d come across or whether people would engage, but we showed up. 

On the day, we didn’t get much of a break, which I took as a good sign. 

A few people said they found the event slow, but for us, the stand seemed to quietly do its job. Some came back more than once to speak with us, some said they had circled around several times to see it. 

And while I’m not reading too much into it, everyone who left their details said they wanted to hear more. 

That feels like a small, solid step forward with some comrades.

If business success is measured by where we spend our money, then maybe we need to check what’s guiding the balance.

Sometimes it’s about removing friction. Sometimes it’s chasing aspiration.

But if we’re always drawn to the loudest, flashiest option – maybe we’re mistaking volume for value.

It’s about walking the tightrope – not to perform, but to connect.